It’s 1Am and I’m sitting in my bathroom applying makeup, like a little girl that’s snuck into her mother’s vanity. I’ve always loved playing with makeup and I started wearing it as early as 5th grade. So I play…put on heavy eyeliner and purple shadow. I’m starting to look clownish. If I walked out in public I’m sure the little clown car would pull up and throw me in.
I take out my iphone and open the camera. Push the turnaround button and shoot. One, two, thirty shots later I scroll through and edit. I’m my own worst critic…we all are, and I delete half of them right off the bat. I study each one and finally narrow it down to three.
I decide on this one, change to black and white to take away the clown effect and post it on my Instagram. It’s simply titled “Heart On Sleeve”. Why? Because no amount of hiding behind makeup will change that about me. I throw myself out there, blindly sometimes and get hurt. Now it’s time to hide, put up my walls and I start to think that this is how I need to be from now on. If you protect your heart it won’t get hurt right? There is truth in that but as I sit here and look at myself I know that’s not the real me. How will someone find your heart unless it’s on your sleeve? Open…real…vulnerable and true to myself. Selfies can teach you a lot.