1:33AM Thoughts

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“I’m divorced”.

This statement always seems to make it’s way into conversation with people I’ve never met.  Like tonight for example, I was at a party where I only knew the friends I went with.  I love meeting new people, starting conversations, finding things in common…sometimes people we both know.  I’m social, I like to talk…sometimes too much.

So the opening lines with strangers are the usuals…what do you do?…how do you know so and so…do you have kids? Then I know it’s coming, that question that always gets asked. Especially since I’m solo.  I brace myself because I know what’s next…every single time.

So are you married?…

No, I’m divorced.

Here it comes…drum roll…1…2…3

Oh, I’m sorry…in that pitiful tone. I always answer my standard answer…it’s ok, I’m good.

Well truthfully, I’m better than good, I’m better off and happy…happy not to be sleeping on the couch night after night feeling dead inside.  Happy to be waking up every day not walking on eggshells and trying to keep peace in an emotional storm.  Happy not living a lie to my kids that this is the way a marriage should look.  Happy to finally gain back my self-respect, my self-esteem and most of all my spirit that had died.

So you see you have nothing to be sorry for…I have love for myself, I have peace in my heart and my home and most importantly I have chocolate 🙂

And the bed…all to myself 🙂

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