Such a fitting post for me to write about in so many ways. First off I’m always late. I was due on March 17th St. Patrick’s Day 1966 and I disappointed my half-Irish Mother by being born a day late. I never heard the end of it throughout my life. I might as well have been born on St. Patty’s because even though my birth certificate says March 18th…every single childhood party was a sea of shamrocks and green.
I am not complaining in the least because if you’re going to be born near a holiday, then St. Patrick’s Day is the best one! When I was turning 21 I was standing at the door of an Irish Bar and as soon as it turned midnight I was let into welcome my legal drinking years with green beer and an instant party full of fun!
That was the last time I had celebrated my birthday that way until this year came along. Time to do it again! So out I went in my Irish Princess tiara and with the help of a band I welcomed in 48 with a bar full of drunk party people!
So back to this prompt. How do I stay young at heart??? I don’t take life too seriously. I splash in mud puddles. I stomp through leaf piles. I look for cloud animals. I swing on the swingset.
I still do all the things that brought me joy as a child.
And I’ll never grow up…life is more fun when you’re skipping hand in hand 🙂
I don’t have trust issues I just pick men that shouldn’t be trusted.
Cheaters. Yep, I’ve known a few too many. Ironically I’m one of the most loyal people on earth, never cheated in my life on a test, a boyfriend or husband…loyalty is one of the most important things to me. So how do I end up with the cheaters??? I wish I knew. It’s a painful thing to experience when you find out the one you love has been with someone else. Like a stab in the heart…bullet to the brain. You start questioning yourself.
Am I a complete idiot?? Only a fool would trust someone who wrote a song about cheating right? Ahhhhhhh…I could beat myself up all night about this subject, but I won’t.
What really is eating at me is watching my cheating exes with their new girlfriends. I was one of those girls, so trusting and in love. Believing every word they said without any doubts. Pronouncing my loyalty to the one I loved that I was certain was 100% loyal to me. My dilemma is this…do I warn these girls about the men they believe are faithful to them??? Or do I just sit back and let karma play out?
Realistically, if an ex-girlfriend had approached me I wouldn’t have believed her. I would’ve thought she was just jealous and vindictive, trying to get him back.
So I will not warn these girls of the undeniable outcome of their relationships. They’re blinded in love.
One thing I have learned is once a cheater, always a cheater. A tiger doesn’t change his stripes.
Reaction and self-control. Things I’ve really had to work on lately as I was getting tested…more like pestered by a certain someone. I’m a even-tempered girl for the most part and it’s rare to see me mad, and when I get to that point is where the self-control comes into play.
When someone knows you so well and knows which buttons to push to get you to that point it’s challenging not to react. Trust me I was ready to spew off an ugly email but instead I grabbed my dog and took a walk. I told myself to breathe and yelled profanities to nobody in particular…well maybe the dog heard but she forgave me.
I took a hot shower and let out some steam that mixed with the steam hoping this would diffuse what I was feeling…it seemed to help bring me to a rational state of mind. What to do to deal with this situation???
I was about to jump down to that Low Road and give a peace of my mind but I gathered myself and hoofed it up that high road instead. It is never the easy way to go especially when you’re angry but after the moment passes you’ll have no regrets of things you might of said. My mother taught me how to let things go and I will forever be grateful for that.
Smash things 🙂
This statement always seems to make it’s way into conversation with people I’ve never met. Like tonight for example, I was at a party where I only knew the friends I went with. I love meeting new people, starting conversations, finding things in common…sometimes people we both know. I’m social, I like to talk…sometimes too much.
So the opening lines with strangers are the usuals…what do you do?…how do you know so and so…do you have kids? Then I know it’s coming, that question that always gets asked. Especially since I’m solo. I brace myself because I know what’s next…every single time.
So are you married?…
No, I’m divorced.
Here it comes…drum roll…1…2…3
Oh, I’m sorry…in that pitiful tone. I always answer my standard answer…it’s ok, I’m good.
Well truthfully, I’m better than good, I’m better off and happy…happy not to be sleeping on the couch night after night feeling dead inside. Happy to be waking up every day not walking on eggshells and trying to keep peace in an emotional storm. Happy not living a lie to my kids that this is the way a marriage should look. Happy to finally gain back my self-respect, my self-esteem and most of all my spirit that had died.
So you see you have nothing to be sorry for…I have love for myself, I have peace in my heart and my home and most importantly I have chocolate 🙂
And the bed…all to myself 🙂
Just in time for Valentine’s Day my new designs are ready! Recycled bits and pieces of old costume jewelry were used in these one-of-a-kind Smashgirl ® Art Pendants. Why shop retail for that special girl in your life when you can give her something that was made with love? Custom designs can be ordered too.. visit my Etsy shop for more pendants and mosaic art. XOXO
A dog named Justice waits patiently for a handout from his owner. Feeding the homeless Thanksgiving 2013 Santa Ana Ca
In live in Orange County, a suburban sprawl of gated communities and ethnic pockets. The home of the happiest place on earth thanks to Mr. Disney. Put on the map by “The OC” and portrayed by the glamorous lifestyles of The Real Housewives Of Orange County. Affluence and designer running clothes. Where a $100,000 car doesn’t even get a second look.
But hidden from the cameras are the people who also live here…the homeless.
I see them every day. Everyone does. Most freeway exits will have someone holding a sign. “Need a job” “Homeless and hungry”. Some are more creative, “My Lamborghini ran out of gas can you spare a $1”.
Porsches and panhandlers. Soccer moms and street moms. Dripping diamonds and dripping sweat. As I was walking to my car today I passed a group of homeless people that had a chihuahua barking ferociously at me. Don’t worry they said, he’s in the backpack. He’s not very peaceful, they all laughed…the backpack had peace signs on it. They may be homeless but they kept their sense of humor.
I thought about them as I drove home…thankful to have a home to go to. Driving past million dollar houses perched high on cliffs with maids washing the ocean view windows. As I exited the freeway I see a man sitting down at the off ramp. No sign. Very old and weathered. Unshaven and dirty, hasn’t bathed for many days…perhaps weeks. No backpack and a handful of belongings sitting next to him. Not asking for anything as the cars turned into their gated lives. Instead this man with nothing was giving. A peace sign to every passing car. I gave one back.
Art is love…love becomes art. I fell in love and created “Key To My Heart”. The dark side was my sadness and tears after my divorce and I hung a Cinderella flip-flop from the faucet handle…waiting for my prince. When I met this man he made me so happy that he turned off my tears and my broken heart healed with his love. I learned to trust again and gave him the key to my heart.
Beginning Feb. 1st through March 22nd this will be up for display and for sale at Centered On The Center at The Huntington Beach Arts Center. Come stop by for a meet and greet at the opening reception Sat. Feb. 1st from 6-9PM , it’s going to be a great night with many new and emerging artists!